Why 40% of people fear flying and 5 ways to a calmer flight
Fear of flying, or aviophobia, is an anxiety disorder affecting around 40% of people. It can ruin the enjoyment of holidays, impact relationships and leave people feeling emotionally exhausted, to name just some of the effects.
As distressing as this fear is, it is also quite understandable when you consider that we are all born with two of the main ingredients, a fear of falling and a fear of loud noises - anyone who has seen a baby being born may have seen the paediatrician testing for these responses as a marker of healthy development. However, whilst these fears are hardwired, they can also be managed - to the point where formerly fearful flyers can travel with calmness and confidence. I know this from my work as a hypnotherapist, and from my own experiences too, some of which I’ll share here:
My fear of flying peaked when on a flight from Thailand back to the UK, the flight out had been ok/unremarkable, but coming back was a different deal, even before we arrived at the airport my mind was racing. And from the moment we took off to the time we landed, my body was tense, my thoughts anxious and I was totally convinced that every noise or bump was a sign of something more sinister. I watched in disbelief as other passengers breezily walked around the aircraft, laughing and chatting, enjoying movies – how could they I thought, did they not understand the 30,000ft peril we were all in! I sat fixated on the in-flight tracker, showing the cartoon-like plane leisurely zig zagging its way across continents, every ounce of me was willing us home, if only we could just get home, for this whole thing to be over. And of course, we made it home without a hitch, but my experience was far from over, I felt flattened, all the adrenalin that had powered my vigilant fight/flight ready state for the past 13hrs, drained from my system. I was a shell. A shell that vowed not to get back on a plane for a very long time. This was in 2010. I now enjoy flying, I look forward to the journey, the holiday ahead and happily put my trust in the crew’s expertise. I can’t overstate how differently the experience of flying feels for me nowadays – something I couldn’t have imagined 12 years ago.
If you’re someone who fears flying, below are some of tried and tested strategies you can use to help you fly more confidently.
5 ways to flying with confidence
Thank your fears – most people view their anxiety as nothing but a problem, an annoyance, an embarrassment perhaps. However, these fears are part of our survival system, an ancient (and when needed), essential part of us. So, rather than criticise yourself for the way you feel, focus on where you feel it in your body, and send it some appreciation, knowing that it’s only trying to look out for you. If you can extend some gratitude towards it instead of trying to resist it, run from it, or medicate it into submission - you’ll be surprised how it softens in response.
Use your body – a common approach to overcoming flying phobia is to learn about the technicalities of how an airplane works, or the safety statistics of flying, effectively feeding the rational mind in the hope that it can convince the (far stronger) emotional mind, to ease up. Whilst this reasoning approach can help, the power imbalance between rational and emotional minds often gets in the way. A far more effective way to communicate with the emotional mind (aka limbic brain) is with the body. When we feel fear, a number of chemical and neurological changes kick in, readying us for fight or flight. The experience of these changes in the body (faster and shallower breathing, increased heartrate, muscle tensing) can be taken by the mind as evidence that danger really does exist, creating a feedback loop that compounds the fear response. The good news is, we can use this same bodily system to send a calming message in the opposite direction, as follows:
Breathing – our breathe is one of the few systems within our body that is both automatic and can also be wilfully controlled. This makes it especially useful for calming and reversing an escalating anxiety response. A simply yet effective method is to do the following, breath slowly through the nose, all the way down, feeling your stomach expanding out – this is known as diaphragmatic breathing, as opposed to the high-chest (or thoracic) breathing characteristic of panic. When you breath out, do so through your mouth for roughly twice as long as your inhale, again slow is best. When you reach the end of your normal exhale, push a bit further to force out any remaining stale air from your lungs, you should feel this in your abs. Doing this creates a rebounding effect as the diaphragm springs back to take onboard fresh oxygen, again, go slowly. You can add to this simple technique with colours and words, envisioning a dark colour for the exhaling breathe and a calming colour entering your body, saying the soothing words, ‘calm and in control’ works well.
Muscles – the above breathing practice will automatically ease tensions but you can go even further by consciously clenching and releasing your muscles, working your way around your body, focussing especially o arms and legs, neck and jaw – areas that tense under stress. As you release, say words along the lines of ‘every nerve, muscle and fibre of my body becoming loose, limp and relaxed’. Its also a good idea to walk up and down the aircraft if only to the toilet, moving the legs and arms helps to discharge built up stress hormones and will further help to relax tensed muscles – sending a message to the brainstem that everything is ok.
Refocus your RAS – most fearful flyers experience anticipation anxiety in the lead up to a flight, this can begin days, weeks or even months out from the date of the flight. During this time its common to find yourself noticing anything with the slightest connection to flying, from which the imagination can run off with elaborate predictions of catastrophe. This is an example of the brain’s Reticular Activating System (RAS) in action – a highly powerful filtering system that processes huge amounts of sensory data and brings to awareness anything it deems to be significant, based on what you’ve focused on, like the risk of flying. You may have experienced this having bought a new car, you then see others with the same or similar car – cars which had always been around, but which the RAS now causes you to spot. Again, this same system can be used to good effect by giving it something else to focus on, be that an aspect of the upcoming holiday or something totally unrelated, like a problem you’ve been trying to solve, a goal you want to work towards etc. In essence, give the RAS something constructive to work on, because it likes to be kept active.
Set-up your self-talk – strange as it may sound, we talk to ourselves more than anyone else. Not only that, but we are also the most convincing person to ourselves – what we tell ourselves, we tend to believe, regardless of how ‘true’ it may be - especially if it gets said repeatedly. In hypnosis terms, this is known as autosuggestion, suggestions made to oneself. The degree to which these suggestions are accepted has much to do with the emotional state we’re in at the time, heightened emotions lead to easier acceptance. For example, if we’re feeling terrified watching a horror movie, the ideas being played out by the cast seem much more believable because our emotional brain is dominant and the rational mind which knows the film to be fiction, played out by actors, is temporarily offline. When a fearful flyer gives themselves the suggestion that e.g., ‘a wobbly wing is likely to fall off’, however improbable that is, the emotionally heightened state helps the self-suggestion to take root, from which it often grows in the imagination. The key for calming oneself is to understand the powerful effect suggestions can have and refrain from verbalising negative predictions, replacing them with more optimistic self-talk. This can often feel unnatural for a well-practiced fearful flyer who is more accustomed to indulging in catastrophic thinking. But with some practice, the benefits will be felt, and new habits formed.
Harness your imagination – being afraid of flying takes a good deal of imagination. In hypnotherapy, we work with the subconscious mind. And for all its brilliance, this part of the mind has a hard job determining reality from imagination – you can try this out, imagine slicing a freshly picked, sun-warmed lemon and placing a slice on your tongue, tasting the citrus flavours – you’ll find your salivary glands will respond in the belief that the lemon is really there, even though only imagined. In the case of fearful flyers, this same process plays out, with imagined catastrophes prompting a nervous system response the same as if it were a real threat. Again, knowing this, we can use the same mechanism to our advantage by imagining something we want instead. Start by imagining a scene that feels, safe, peaceful, calming – somewhere you’ve been, are going to, or is entirely made up. Give your imagination time to bring the scene into view, once it is, bring in your other senses to add extra qualities to the experience, hear the sounds that are there, feel any textures, temperature, tastes etc. Smell any smells – you get the idea. The richer the scene is in terms of sensory detail, the more effective it will be in bringing about the associated feelings. You can also play around with the scene in your mind, if the scene is static, add movement, make the colours more vivid, intensify the smells etc. Using your imagination in this way has a very real effect on how your body responds and feels.
In combination, the above tools are a powerful way to bring flying fears under control and achieve calmness throughout your journey. What’s more, they’re all free, easy to do and discreet, perfect when sitting amongst other passengers. As with most things, a bit of practice will pay off so experiment before you fly and get comfortable with what works best for you.
If you or someone you know would like help to overcome a fear of flying, feel free to book a consultation call with me here.
