Working With Our Inner Parts
Understanding a Parts-Oriented Approach to Healing
Have you ever felt like different parts of you are pulling in opposite directions? Maybe one part is determined and driven — planning ahead, striving for success — while another part feels stuck, fearful, or constantly self-doubting. Perhaps one part criticises you harshly, while another feels deeply wounded or fragile. These experiences are more common than you might think — and it can be helpful to understand them as different “inner parts” that each have a role.
Rather than seeing your thoughts, feelings or behaviours as “problems to fix,” this approach views them as parts of a broader internal system — each part with its own role, needs and purpose. Some parts developed in response to past experiences, and they may have taken on protective roles.
The aim of therapy with this approach is to bring balance, understanding and compassion to these parts so that you can feel more whole, calm, and at ease with yourself.
The Different Parts Within Us
Within this internal system we often talk about three main kinds of parts:
Vulnerable Parts – these are the wounded parts of you that carry painful memories, fear, shame or sadness. Because their feelings can be overwhelming, they are often hidden away or suppressed.
Proactive Protectors (“Managers”) – these parts try to keep things under control. They may express as perfectionism, overthinking, constant self-criticism, extreme responsibility, people-pleasing, or a compulsion to stay busy and organised. Their main aim is to prevent the wounded parts from being triggered — to stop pain or emotional overwhelm before it arises.
Reactive Protectors (“Firefighters”) – when distress, vulnerability or emotional pain does break through, these parts may spring into action to protect you. They act suddenly and impulsively, often by trying to distract, numb or suppress those painful feelings. This might look like withdrawal, avoidance, over-eating, excessive work or busyness, self-medication, or other behaviours that help you escape or blunt emotional discomfort.
At the heart of this system is a calm, compassionate core within you — a centre of clarity, compassion and balance. Through therapy, we aim to help you connect with this core self and build a supportive, trusting relationship with your inner parts.
How This Approach Helps With Trauma and Emotional Healing
When you’ve experienced trauma, intense stress, or emotional wounds — particularly in early life — some of your parts may have stepped into protective roles to help you cope. While they often did their job well at the time, over years those protective parts can start acting in extreme or rigid ways.
Because these protective parts behave like well-intentioned guardians, they’re often loyal and deeply rooted. They can feel essential. But when these protective parts lead your life, you may find yourself locked into patterns of constant self-criticism, overwork, avoidance, emotional numbness, anxiety, or overwhelming emotional surges.
Using this parts-oriented therapy, you can begin to:
Recognise and understand the protective roles your parts have taken on (both proactive and reactive).
Gently reconnect with the vulnerable parts carrying pain, fear or shame — acknowledging their feelings, giving them voice, and allowing them to release burdens.
Build more compassion and understanding for yourself — recognising that every part had a purpose, even if it's causing difficulty now.
Create inner harmony: rather than fighting between parts, you can learn to relate to them as parts of a whole, each with a valid role.
Feel more empowered: with greater self-awareness, calmness, and ability to choose responses rather than react out of habit or pain.
A Compassionate Path to Healing
This is a caring, non-judgemental approach to therapy. There is no “bad” part — just parts that have learnt ways of coping which once helped, but over time may have become burdensome.
Whether you think of your inner world as sub-personalities, ego-states, or simply different aspects of yourself, this approach helps you relate to them with curiosity and kindness.
If you’re ready to explore your internal system and begin a journey of self-discovery and healing, I offer consultations (online or in-person), where we’ll work together to bring balance, understanding and integration.